I thought, just now, how I want to take a day off and read, “Getting Things Done” and organize my office and be like this super duper-organized getting things done person. Then, I imagined myself going through files and planning and executing projects and I thought, “Maybe I don’t really want to get things done. Maybe I want to sleep or go to Palm Springs and have sex with my husband on my parents leather couch and have nothing I have to do for ten days except buy a toenail clipper.” And I felt bad about this cause I want to be one of those super duper powerhouse women who shine and go and do and cure their kid and their house looks really good and they exercise. But I guess I really don’t want to be a super-organized powerhouse woman cause then I’d have to be really organized and work hard and be centered and energetic and ambitious and single-minded and never give up. And I get tired just thinking about going to breakfast with a woman like that and I just want to get the check quickly and go home and read an Agatha Christie novel and have some hot tea and a cookie.
I thought, what I should do is get really super duper religious instead of super duper organized and efficient, then I can just pray for stuff and really believe it will happen and I’ll have such faith that my stuff will work out that I don’t need to be good at anything to be happy. I thought about going to Temple and I don’t really want to go to Temple because there are these cranky complaining judgmental Jewish people there. Also, it doesn’t help me be connected to God to be lectured on how I don’t go to Temple enough. So then I thought about this cool Temple that the Dali Lama created in Atlanta and goes to like every ten years. But it’s kind of far away and I don’t like driving. And the last time I looked on the Atlanta/Dali Lama Temple on-line calendar, there was a lecture scheduled about Generosity. And I don’t really want to go to a lecture about how to be generous, I just want to get what I want now. Basically, I just want to help Cal. So, how do I do that in the fastest, easiest possible way?
So I’ve done the third eye thing and it seems to be working. We have all these chakra energy points in our body. One is sorta in between our eyes on our forehead — it’s intuition. The Third Eye. I’ve gone on google images and put this violet chakra image of the third eye on my screen saver. So, now,when I don’t know what to do, I just very quickly and easily ask my third eye and make a decision. So before I played with Cal in the playroom an hour ago, I was doing the dishes. I visualized my purple third eye and said, “How can I help Cal now?” My third eye said, “Believe you are a great Mom and you are doing a great job. Believe whatever it takes to help you.” So I started putting away the glasses in the cabinet and I’d think, “Wow, I’m such a good Mom and wife taking care of putting away the dishes.” Then I played with Cal with the belief that I’m a great Mom and I was so much more fun than I was before. Whenever, I wouldn’t know what to do, I’d ask my third eye and there would always be a good answer. It just opened me up to being a lot sillier and more creative. I ended up having fun with Cal tying a rubber band to the window which I attached to a stuffed animal monkey so it looked like the monkey was looking out the window. The monkey thing started because Cal kept saying he wanted to pick up his brother from school. So finally I pretended the monkey was his brother and picked the monkey up and somehow ended up tying him to the window where the monkey still hangs.